Party of Five!

Yes, that's right - we are currently, Keim Party of Five! This post is way overdue but things have been kind of crazy!

This was where I said, "I'm going to sit here all day tomorrow and read my book!" Bwahaha...nope!

We had planned our vacation to the same spot we went two years ago, a cabin near Elijay, GA, with the thought that we might be fostering at that time and it's a whole lot easier to do an overnight trip within the state than to cross state lines. This was the most organized we've ever been for a trip and we had planned to get there and not get back in the car for the next four days. We got there Friday (July 7th) afternoon at 3:30, unpacked everything, checked out the camp fire area, and were sitting by the creek relaxing when my phone beeped. It said I had a new voicemail, but there's no cell service there and I couldn't get the message to show up. I tried to ignore it and then Shawn said, "Let's drive down the mountain until we have service and you can check it." I said, "Ok, then it will be close enough to 5:00 on Friday afternoon and then I won't worry about someone calling us over the weekend." We got about halfway down the mountain and I could read the voicemail - sure enough! Two year old twin girls! We called our social worker and she gave us the very few details she had. We said "yes!" We drove back up to the cabin, grabbed our toiletry bags and headed back south.

I texted a friend and asked if she had a pack and play we could borrow - tonight! We arrived at the DFCS office, they handed us the placement letter, told us they needed to be in court on Monday, Shawn strapped in their car seats, and we took them. The DFCS workers had put them each in an outfit and gave them a blanket, a stuffed animal and gave us a package of diapers. We headed straight to Target where our friends met us and gave us the pack and play and a bag filled with diapers, sippy cups, pajamas, and swim suits. Thank goodness for awesome friends who work fast! We bought some basics like shoes and a few outfits at Target and headed home. We fixed a quick dinner, they had hardly talked and they didn't eat much, gave them a bath and put them to bed.

I did relax a little with Avery while the twins napped.

We had been waiting for this moment, but never did we image we'd get twins! The girls slept great that first night, but I'm pretty sure Shawn and I slept for about 5 minutes - I kept listening for them to cry and, of course, my mind just wouldn't shut off. We had been waiting for this call, but no amount of preparing can prepare you for the weight of emotion - thinking of a mom missing her kids, and caring for children who have been removed from their mom and are now our responsibility.

We tried to salvage the vacation we had planned and headed back up to the cabin in the morning - in 2 cars this time. The girls did fine, but the cabin is not kid-proofed so it was impossible to just relax and let them play. That night there was lots of crying at bedtime. One screaming, one crying, "I want my mommy," Avery crying because she felt so bad for them, and I was teary eyed from being physically and emotionally exhausted and not knowing what to do to comfort everyone. Poor Shawn! We made it through the night and headed back home in the morning - vacation can wait. 

We had court the next day and we met the kids' lawyer, the other foster family (the girls have 2 brothers), and their mom. That was a little awkward but it was evident that all of the kids love her and have a strong bond with her. Having the kids at court was brutal as they saw their mom and were taken away from her about 6 times throughout the proceedings. This was the initial hearing and another court date was set for 2 weeks where DFCS would have to present their evidence.

Avery turned 8, 9 days after becoming a big sister. She's had a bit of an adjustment period, just like we all have but she's settled into her role like a champ!

The girls have a great lawyer and she was able to get their appearance waived for the next court date. We went to court again on the 24th and learned that the girls will likely be with us for 6-9 months. Up until this point it was considered an emergency placement and we didn't know how long they would be with us. We have another court date for August 24th and will likely learn a little bit more about the plan then.

A fun afternoon on the lake with sweet friends!

The girls have had a lot of experiences in their first month with us. We don't know if any of the things they are doing with us are "firsts" but they are firsts for us as a family. The first two weeks were kind of like the "honeymoon" period and parenting them has been more challenging since then. It's hard to jump in and parent kids at almost two and a half when you don't know a lot about their past. As challenging as our days are, the twins are thriving with consistency, a schedule, and lots of attention.

Avery even got to drive the boat and she thought she was pretty hot stuff!

We can't show their faces on social media or share the details of their story, just know they are adorable! There's so much more to write but I'll save that for another time. We are so appreciative of the love and support of our friends and family!!

On the day we learned they would be with us for a while, I dressed them in their Love Makes a Family shirts. It may only be for a short while, but today we are family.

New Adventures Await

Yesterday we officially became a licensed foster family. For the last 4 months we have been attending classes, filling out more paperwork than we thought possible, being trained in first aid and CPR, attending water safety training, being fingerprinted, getting physicals done, collecting references, having a home study done, and preparing our home for foster care.

I'll try to explain a few things and answer some possible questions here.

Why foster care?
A year ago, I never thought we would be in this place. When we were trying to adopt a few people asked us about foster care and we were both adamant that foster care was not something we were interested in. We knew toward the end of 2016 that an adoption with our agency wasn't likely. Nothing was happening and we felt like they were stringing us along even though we didn't formally end our relationship with them until February. We spent a little bit of time not knowing what the future looked like for our family but the two phrases that I wrote about in our last blog post, "bloom where you're planted" and "dreams don't die, they evolve" kept coming to mind. One night, Shawn and I were sitting in the living room after Avery had gone to bed. I can't even remember who brought up foster care but we were both immediately on board with looking into it. We are both a little obsessive about researching things and of course we began digging for information. Once we had begun looking into foster care, we found it impossible to look away. We took a day trip that following weekend and it was pretty much all we talked about.

We attended an orientation meeting with our county on March 7th where we learned that over half of the children taken into care in our county are placed out of the county because there aren't enough foster homes. That night they gave us the initial application and we filled it in that night and returned it the next day. Shortly after we had our first home visit and at the conclusion of that visit, the social worker gave us a ream of forms and questionnaires to fill out, some individual and some as a couple.

What ages?
We are licensed to have two foster children, ages 0-3.

Here's a big one - won't you get too attached?
Yes, we will! And it will break our hearts to say goodbye to them when they are reunified with their families. We hope to give children a safe and loving home whether they are with us for a night, a week, a month, or a year. We will get attached to them, but you know what...like all babies, babies in foster care need to know they are loved and cared for so that they can form healthy attachments and healthy relationships throughout their lives. Yes, this will be incredibly hard, but it will be worth it!

Do you hope to adopt?
Honestly, I think with what we've been through up to this point, adoption will always be in our radar. We still hope that if any of our friends hear of someone who is considering adoption they will consider us and pass on our contact info. However, we aren't going into foster care with the intention or even hope of adopting. The goal for children in care is almost always reunification with their parents or a family member and we support that, we are just hoping to step in and fill a serious need in our community. When children are taken into care, the parents have a plan that they need to follow and carry through and we plan to support them in that. If they are not following their plan, at some point a judge may change the case plan to from reunification to adoption. If a child has been in our care and this happens, we would likely be given the first opportunity to adopt. Even if this happens, adoptions don't happen quickly and a lot can change.

How does Avery feel?
We went for a walk on the green-way when we planned to tell Avery. She was immediately excited and told us she wanted to make a book about our house and who we are for the foster children. She also started pointing out cute babies we would see at Target and Kroger and say that she wished we could take them home and foster them. She isn't too sure about sharing her toys and knows that sharing her parents will be a challenge, but I think that's to be expected since she's been an only child for almost 8 years. She has enjoyed picking out some outfits and toys and would love an unlimited Target budget to get all of the cute outfits and shoes for her foster siblings - who am I kidding, I'd love that too! When we get our first placement it will be a big adjustment for Avery but I think she'll be a great big sister.

How have you prepared for your age range?
We already had a twin bed in the guest room so we can use that if we have a placement toward the upper end of our age range. We also got a crib/changing table combo that is super cute. We have a few things from when Avery was a baby like her whale bathtub. We had also been collecting a few things for a potential adoption so we have sleepers and swaddlers, mostly in 0-6 month size, as well as an infant car seat. We also got a pair of boy/girl pajamas in each size just so we have something if a child comes with just the clothes on their back (which is entirely possible). It's hard not to go out and buy everything we might possibly need for our age range but we are trying hard to wait for our first placement because then we'll actually know what size clothes and shoes we need as well as other gear.

Thanks for following along! Once we have a placement we will know a lot more! For now, we are waiting on pins and needles for a phone call about our first placement which could come this afternoon, tomorrow, or in a few weeks.

It's March Already? Just a few updates...

So, I'm a few months late, but Happy New Year! :-)  We would be over the moon if 2017 is the year our family grows! With that being said, this quote has been on our minds a lot...

It's easy to get caught up in what we don't have or what we thought we'd have but we do have so much to be thankful for. One of my goals this year is to fill the place I currently have and grow there. I'm privileged to be a work at home mom and I want to continue to grow in my current professional roles as an online teacher and teacher trainer. I also have a pretty awesome husband who does a great job of supporting me and I want to support him in his professional role and in his role as a super dad. I'm especially blessed to be the mom of an amazing 7 year old and I want to be present for her, encourage her dreams, and support her interests even if they aren't my interests.

The other quote that fits our current life is...

As hopeful as we've been throughout our journey to adoption, it's been hard not to get frustrated with our agency. While they kept us updated each month with the number of profiles sent out and they continued to seem hopeful, the reality is, they didn't help us create a potential match in almost 3 years. We will forever be grateful to them because it is through them that we connected with Avery's amazing birthmother. After much soul searching, we severed our ties with them about a month ago. We are still very much trying to grow our family through adoption, but at this point we are "free agents" and we hope to complete our adoption independent of an agency. Feel free to ask us what that means if you aren't sure. :-) So, our dreams of growing our family haven't changed, but maybe the pathway to get there has.

I know I've mentioned Avery's birthmother several times in blog posts and she is one of our biggest cheerleaders in our dreams for a second adoption. I'll leave you with this tear-jerker of a letter she wrote on our behalf.

National Adoption Month

Hi everyone! I can't let November slip away without a blog post during National Adoption Month. We haven't found our baby yet, but we are still praying for a miracle and we are more hopeful than ever! Our adoption agency featured our video and it went "viral!" Over 6,000 views! I will have to share it again on our Facebook page (Shawn and Renee's Adoption Journey) and maybe it will reach the prospective birthmother who is looking for us.

Family photo from August

As expected, fall has been busy! I am teaching 9 online sections of biology (some are really small) and love that even though that keeps me up late sometimes working, I get to be a work at home mom with a job I love. Shawn has been learning all about life in Georgia outside of Atlanta. His territory stretches from Macon in middle GA all the way to the South Carolina and Tennessee borders. He is loving his new position with the Department of Education and feels like this is where he can really make a difference.

Halloween at Target is the best!

We've enjoyed several Fall Festivals. There's just something about seeing the leaves change color, pumpkins, fall foods (pumpkin everything!) and slightly cooler weather (think 60s and 70s) that our family loves! We tried a corn maze and realized Avery and I would probably be stuck there for days if we didn't have our master map reader, Shawn, with us. Avery also had fun shooting a corn cannon, carving a pumpkin and dressing up as Hermione Granger from Harry Potter for Halloween. We stayed here for Thanksgiving and we are so lucky to have friends that treat us like family and included us in their feasting. We did a lot of relaxing on those 4 days off and today was a bit of a rude awakening -who knew you could be tired from so much relaxing?!

In all her glory!

Although we haven't been matched with a birthmother yet, we have had several positive and uplifting things happen in the last few weeks. Our new contact at ANLC has been much more honest and open with me about numbers of birthmothers they are seeing, who they are sending our profile to, etc. This makes me hopeful as she is much more hands on. Also, Avery's amazing birthmother wrote the sweetest letter to prospective birthmothers about her experience with us and our commitment to our open adoption. We think the world of her and it brought tears to our eyes to read her words. ANLC is adding her letter to our profile packet. It touches our hearts to know she is praying and doing all that she can to help us in this second adoption journey so that Avery can have a sibling. Another exciting development - KVC Photography began a project called the Deeply Loved Project. Katie, the owner, is an adoptee and she wanted to give a voice to the adoption community. She held a contest and chose 3 families - she is doing the photography and partnering with another woman who writes love stories to share our adoption stories. We are thrilled and humbled that she chose us! We met her this morning for our photography session. Two out of the three of us are not photogenic but she made it fun and easy and she captured some amazing photos. She will be working with the writer on our stories and we can't wait to see what comes out of it.

We so appreciate everyone standing by us during this journey. Keep sharing our blog, our Facebook page and tell someone you know that friends of yours are trying to adopt again - you never know, they may know someone thinking about adoption. :-)

We got to see a sweet friend's 3 week old baby, Eden! Avery was in love!

Summer 2016

Fun with sidewalk chalk and bubbles!

While we don't have much to report on the adoption front, I do want to be able to look back some day and reminisce about what we were doing while we were waiting. While we haven't exactly been sitting around feeling blue that we aren't quite where we thought we'd be this summer, we did feel like we needed to be intentional about adding experiences and making our summer as meaningful as possible. Avery has been waiting for a sibling for as long as we've been wanting to give her one and she's old enough that she's going to remember this time in her life so we are trying to make it a summer to remember - and possibly (hopefully!) her last as an only child. She loves coming up with names for her future sibling - the names right now are all "Harry Potter- centric."

We kicked off our summer with a Memorial Day 5K/10K. We walk and run at least 5 days a week so I thought it would be fun to do a family race. Shawn was less enthusiastic but he went along with it and he and Avery did a fantastic job on their first 5K race! I signed up for the 10K - my first- and I thought for sure I had made a huge mistake once we drove the course and I realized it was going to be a lot more hilly than the greenway we usually run. Shawn and Avery were my constant cheerleaders and my brother, Justin, was a pretty fabulous long distance coach. I was pretty proud of our accomplishment.

A ride in Nana's mustang never disappoints!

Shawn's grandmother passed away so we drove up to northern NY at the beginning of June. Although the trip was for a sad occasion we made the most of it by stopping in at my parent's in western NY and visiting our old stomping grounds in Syracuse. Shawn and I spent our first year of marriage in Syracuse so it was fun to check out all of our favorite spots. It's always funny to us to visit our first apartment - we had a 2 bedroom townhouse that had just been remodeled and we thought it was just the greatest. I'm sure it's gone downhill a little in the last 14 years but I'm pretty sure we were also blinded by love back then too. 

Shawn and I celebrated our 14th anniversary on June 15th. Our friends, Courtney and Wade, watched Avery for a few hours and Shawn and I enjoyed checking out Ponce City Market and a kid free meal. Avery joined us on our actual anniversary for lunch at Fickle Pickle.

Towards the end of June we took a long weekend and went to Jacksonville Beach, FL. On spring break we discovered that because Jacksonville isn't super touristy, the beaches aren't very crowded. We had two great days at the beach and we can't wait to go back. 

I took Avery for her first pedicure before we headed for the beach. She thinks we should go every week now since it is "so relaxing!"

Avery FINALLY learned to ride a two-wheeler!

On July 16th, Avery turned 7! I can not believe we have a 7 year old! On her birthday we went to a rescue zoo in north GA and toured a goldmine in Dahlonega. She chose to go out to a Ichiban for a fun hibachi supper. She is really into Harry Potter right now and is reading the 5th book so we knew she'd be thrilled with Hermione's robe and wand - her reaction and joy did not disappoint! We also spent some time the night before her birthday texting with Avery's birthmother. We are thankful every day that she chose us to be Avery's parents. Here are the pictures from when we met Avery for the first time. This was at 1AM after driving 11 from Charlotte to St. Louis with only 2 stops. :-) My goodness...we look like kids ourselves. :-)

We've still got a few weeks before the full madness of the school year begins so we hope to make a few more trips to the lake, the splashpad, and maybe some hiking. 

On July 1st our adoption liason retired. While we enjoyed working with her, we are looking forward to having someone fresh on our case. Our new contact person is the owner of the company so we are hopeful that her expertise will get us some traction. At this point, I think we are ruining their match time statistics. 

We have started a Facebook page and we're doing everything we can to network, in addition to the marketing efforts of our agency, but for some reason we just haven't caught the attention of any expectant moms. We've had a few friends send us adoption situations that they've seen posted on Facebook and we are so appreciative for these leads and we are checking each one out. Please continue to pray for us and share our story. We never imagined we'd be waiting this long but we are still confident that we were called to adopt again and we have faith that everything will work out just as God has planned. Thanks for sticking with us!

Spread the Word

Mini Spring Break weekend in Jacksonville, FL

Good afternoon friends, family and followers! I was ashamed to realize I hadn't written a blog post yet this year! The problem is, I write them frequently in my head and they rarely make it to the computer. We don't have a whole lot to update you with but we are hopeful that 2016 will be the year we become "party of four."

Jacksonville Beach

We've been enjoying spring in our house! It's fun to see what springs up. We had tons of daffodils in front of the house and around the mailbox and now we've got irises, azaleas, and roses in bloom! This past weekend Shawn and Avery planted some pots to add color to the front of the house and we discovered baby figs and baby pears have started growing in the backyard. Now, if we can keep them all alive it will be a miracle. We do not have green thumbs but love looking at flowers.

Jacksonville Zoo

Our agency keeps us updated with how many times they have sent our profile out to prospective birth mothers and how many views our profile is getting online. These numbers have been fairly steady but we still haven't made the connection with that special lady that we are hoping for. We are still hopeful though and we know that when the time does come we'll be able to look back and understand why we were meant to wait.

Hiking in the Georgia Mountains

We've been working the last few weeks to update our homestudy. It hasn't quite been another year but we need to have everything done so that our social worker can get it updated before the one from last year expires. Even though nothing has changed this required physicals for all of us, financial statements, verification of employment, fingerprinting for the FBI and GBI, and a few other forms. The fingerprinting is the silliest - we had to go to 2 different UPS stores - one for the FBI and one for the GBI. Our social worker came for a visit as well. She's a very sweet lady and Avery just loves her. We hope the next time we see her is for a post-placement visit.

We appreciate you sharing our story and helping us spread the word. We know our agency is promoting us but we are also hopeful that we can make a connection with a birthmother through mutual friends. Thanks to one of our friends giving me a contact that may have known of a possible birthmother, I called up a stranger ended up talking to her for quite a while. She and her husband adopted 7 months ago and she had heard of another woman considering adoption. She looked into it for me after talking and it turns out that her friend hasn't seen the woman again so she didn't have any more information. But, she has my contact info now and has shared our story with several of her friends so it's just that many more people helping us network.

Vogel State Park

We definitely have our days that are difficult but we have a pretty positive outlook most of the time. When we first began the process, I saw a diaper bag that I loved. Shawn told me just to buy it and we could add things that we bought for the baby in so it was ready to go when we got the call. Over the course of almost 2 years, that diaper bag is full of sleepers, sleep gowns, and burp cloths. Now, I was able to laugh about it, but the day I saw our diaper bag for sale in TJMaxx, I definitely had the thought of "we've been waiting so long our diaper bag is in TJMaxx!?" :-)

Running through the sprinkler! Looking forward to lots of backyard fun this summer!

Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers! Please feel free to share our blog and get in touch with us if you would like extra info or a profile to share with someone.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Happy Holidays from the Keims!

The fall and holiday season is a family favorite! I love all things pumpkin spice and cozy while Shawn and Avery love all things Halloween. All three of us love everything Christmas! We certainly never thought we'd be celebrating our second Christmas while still in the waiting period. Whether they publish it or not, every couple that is waiting to adopt has little milestones - that day of the month that marks another month of waiting, Mother's Day, Father's Day, a special vacation you imagined you'd be bringing your baby along for, and the holidays. For this reason there are lots of articles with ideas on how to survive the wait during the holidays. I read a few of them but I didn't really feel like they applied to us. We know we are incredibly lucky that we have Avery and that helps keep us positive - we love experiencing the magic of the holidays through her eyes. We are hopeful that next year will be the year we are celebrating with Avery AND her baby brother or sister.

 Avery had a big part in decorating this year.

We've had lots of adventures since my post last month - we've gotten back into running and walking in a big way! I hadn't run since August when I got a steal on a pair of new sneakers, went for a 3 mile run and got giant blisters on both heels that took over a month to heal. We've had a little friendly competition with my mom and my sister-in-law, Jill, on Map My Run. Our favorite place to run and walk is on the Big Creek Greenway. They have a boardwalk through the forest and swamps and it's been so refreshing to get outside and in nature. Avery has been with us every step of the way and she runs between Shawn and I so she probably doubles our milage. So far, for December, we are over 50 miles and hoping to get in 60 before the end of the year.

Our favorite trail.

Hiking around Lake Lanier.

We definitely miss our families at the holidays so we are especially grateful to have friends who are like family right here in Georgia. We had a plentiful Thanksgiving dinner with about 30 friends and then we took off to Memphis for the weekend. We went to Shiloh Battlefield as an early birthday present for Shawn and then we spent the rest of the weekend in Memphis. We went to the Lorraine Motel, where Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed, Beale Street, Sun Studios, Graceland, and the biggest Bass Pro Shops in a pyramid. It was a fun little road trip. 

We have also enjoyed driving around looking at Christmas lights, the lights at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens, watching Elf, and baking and decorating more cookies than we can ever eat. Tonight we plan to eat snack foods, watch A Christmas Story, and get to bed early so that Santa can come.

If you are friends with us on Facebook or have followed our journey for a while, you've probably seen Christmas Bear in our holiday photos. Some people have mentioned how freaky it is or that the kids are probably terrified by it. Here's the story of Christmas Bear: My mom has made no secret of the fact that she hates inflatables! One year after Christmas we saw this particular inflatable clearanced to 75% off so Shawn thought it would be fitting to send it to my mom as a joke for her February birthday. My mom promptly mailed Christmas Bear back to us and couldn't believe we had actually bought it and paid postage to send it to her. So, Shawn being Shawn, said ok, "We love Christmas, we're keeping it!" We have set it up every year and it has become a silly little tradition that we write where we are for Christmas that year and everyone who is together signs it. What started out as a joke has become kind of special to us and we love seeing where we were each year, who was together, and it jogs some memories as to what was happening in our life. That first year was 2007 - we were in the midst of fertility treatments and couldn't be too far from the hospital and my mom and dad came down to Charlotte for Christmas. 2008 - Just Shawn and I on Christmas morning but we flew out to my brother, Justin's, in Oregon later that day. Baby Maverick was just 6 weeks old so we got some first hand baby experiences with him. We were also in the process of signing on with Adoption Network Law Center because I remember using their computer to send some pictures to our adoption advisor. We were in Freedom, NY for 2009 and we were celebrating our first Christmas with Avery, our first Christmas as parents! We were in NY again for 2010 but at my sister, Katie's. 2011 - we were home, in Charlotte, for Christmas day and then went to Florida - where it was freezing! 2012 - back to Freedom. 2013 - in Georgia. 2014 - Freedom, NY. I'm not sure of the life span of inflatables but let's just say Christmas Bear is aging. He has a leak somewhere and isn't as robust as he used to be. I mentioned this to my mom, you know, the one who hates inflatables, and she said, "Oh you can't get rid of him! Can't you cut out the writing and put it on a quilt or something?!" So there you have it...a silly, precious tradition.

Friends helped us celebrate our first Christmas in Georgia.

Christmas with cousins in 2014.

Once again, there's not too much new on the adoption front. Our paper profile is currently in the hands of three expectant moms. Each of these ladies will have to make a choice. They might choose to parent or choose to make an adoption plan. We hope if they choose to make an adoption plan that one of these ladies will choose us. Our agency tracks the number of views on our online profile each month but that's not really an indicator of anything. We hope it is expectant mothers looking at our profile but it could also be other prospective adoptive couples, family members, basically anyone. Really the only important number is 1 - we just need one expectant mom to see something in us that she thinks might be worth pursuing, just one who wants to begin building a relationship with us. We hope she will see the love and stability we have to offer her child. 

We have been loving 70 degree days in December...and I still don't know where to look when taking a selfie. :-)

We are thankful every day for the choice Avery's birthmother made and we tell her that often. She and I text often and just this week she was telling me that she had mailed Avery a gift and then she added, "I'm so grateful she has you!" We in no way feel like we deserve Avery but we are ever so thankful and honored that she chose us. We look forward to building another unique relationship like that with the expectant mom who chooses us for this adoption. 

After having her face professionally painted twice in one day, Avery had new career aspirations.

I've done pretty good at not buying anything else for the baby until we are chosen. We have everything we need to be ready to go at a moment's notice but when I saw this canvas in a local boutique, I knew it belonged in our nursery. 

Thanks you friends for your continued support in 2015! Please continue to share our story and keep us in mind if you ever hear of someone considering adoption.