Yesterday we officially became a licensed foster family. For the last 4 months we have been attending classes, filling out more paperwork than we thought possible, being trained in first aid and CPR, attending water safety training, being fingerprinted, getting physicals done, collecting references, having a home study done, and preparing our home for foster care.
I'll try to explain a few things and answer some possible questions here.
Why foster care?
A year ago, I never thought we would be in this place. When we were trying to adopt a few people asked us about foster care and we were both adamant that foster care was not something we were interested in. We knew toward the end of 2016 that an adoption with our agency wasn't likely. Nothing was happening and we felt like they were stringing us along even though we didn't formally end our relationship with them until February. We spent a little bit of time not knowing what the future looked like for our family but the two phrases that I wrote about in our last blog post, "bloom where you're planted" and "dreams don't die, they evolve" kept coming to mind. One night, Shawn and I were sitting in the living room after Avery had gone to bed. I can't even remember who brought up foster care but we were both immediately on board with looking into it. We are both a little obsessive about researching things and of course we began digging for information. Once we had begun looking into foster care, we found it impossible to look away. We took a day trip that following weekend and it was pretty much all we talked about.
We attended an orientation meeting with our county on March 7th where we learned that over half of the children taken into care in our county are placed out of the county because there aren't enough foster homes. That night they gave us the initial application and we filled it in that night and returned it the next day. Shortly after we had our first home visit and at the conclusion of that visit, the social worker gave us a ream of forms and questionnaires to fill out, some individual and some as a couple.
What ages?
We are licensed to have two foster children, ages 0-3.
Here's a big one - won't you get too attached?
Yes, we will! And it will break our hearts to say goodbye to them when they are reunified with their families. We hope to give children a safe and loving home whether they are with us for a night, a week, a month, or a year. We will get attached to them, but you know what...like all babies, babies in foster care need to know they are loved and cared for so that they can form healthy attachments and healthy relationships throughout their lives. Yes, this will be incredibly hard, but it will be worth it!
Do you hope to adopt?
Honestly, I think with what we've been through up to this point, adoption will always be in our radar. We still hope that if any of our friends hear of someone who is considering adoption they will consider us and pass on our contact info. However, we aren't going into foster care with the intention or even hope of adopting. The goal for children in care is almost always reunification with their parents or a family member and we support that, we are just hoping to step in and fill a serious need in our community. When children are taken into care, the parents have a plan that they need to follow and carry through and we plan to support them in that. If they are not following their plan, at some point a judge may change the case plan to from reunification to adoption. If a child has been in our care and this happens, we would likely be given the first opportunity to adopt. Even if this happens, adoptions don't happen quickly and a lot can change.
How does Avery feel?
We went for a walk on the green-way when we planned to tell Avery. She was immediately excited and told us she wanted to make a book about our house and who we are for the foster children. She also started pointing out cute babies we would see at Target and Kroger and say that she wished we could take them home and foster them. She isn't too sure about sharing her toys and knows that sharing her parents will be a challenge, but I think that's to be expected since she's been an only child for almost 8 years. She has enjoyed picking out some outfits and toys and would love an unlimited Target budget to get all of the cute outfits and shoes for her foster siblings - who am I kidding, I'd love that too! When we get our first placement it will be a big adjustment for Avery but I think she'll be a great big sister.
How have you prepared for your age range?
We already had a twin bed in the guest room so we can use that if we have a placement toward the upper end of our age range. We also got a crib/changing table combo that is super cute. We have a few things from when Avery was a baby like her whale bathtub. We had also been collecting a few things for a potential adoption so we have sleepers and swaddlers, mostly in 0-6 month size, as well as an infant car seat. We also got a pair of boy/girl pajamas in each size just so we have something if a child comes with just the clothes on their back (which is entirely possible). It's hard not to go out and buy everything we might possibly need for our age range but we are trying hard to wait for our first placement because then we'll actually know what size clothes and shoes we need as well as other gear.
Thanks for following along! Once we have a placement we will know a lot more! For now, we are waiting on pins and needles for a phone call about our first placement which could come this afternoon, tomorrow, or in a few weeks.
